I recently read J.D. Roth’s brilliant and touching article about his journey of self-transformation, starting from his days in primary school where he was bullied and labeled as a geek. Initially, he found happiness within his small group of geeky friends, but then he realized that there was a social hierarchy, and geeks were ranked at the bottom.
This took me back to my own school years and reminded me of the times kids were really mean to each other. I didn’t fit into the popular group, nor was I part of the geek clique. I was more of a loner, left to my daydreams. Being among the top three in class, I garnered teachers’ approval without sucking up to them, so overall, I was pretty invisible. However, when I reached middle school, I attempted to join the popular group. Instead of lifting myself up, I tried to bring others down to make myself appear superior. That was incredibly mean and foolish. This phase didn’t bring me any happiness. By the time I entered high school the following year, I aimed to be more extroverted and ended up making great friends.
Being mean wouldn’t have gotten me anywhere. Reflecting on the adult world, I still don’t understand why people feel the need to be mean to each other. I’m not a huge advocate of peace and love, nor am I overly cheerful every day. Sometimes, I don’t feel like greeting everyone I meet with a smile, but I can’t be mean on purpose. Despite experiencing people being mean to me repeatedly, I noticed that they never benefited from their behavior.
In contrast, I believe constructive criticism and heartfelt advice can actually help someone. What’s the point of telling someone, “Look how fat you are, you’re so ugly you should stay at home”? Not much, right? Instead, if you say, “Hey, being overweight can’t be easy. How about we hit the gym together? It’ll be tough at first, but you’ll feel great in a few months,” it could make a real difference.
I wish people wouldn’t feel so insecure that they feel the need to ridicule and be mean to others.
